Providing practical help to a close friend—such as picking up medication, cooking a meal or helping with household chores—may be linked to a more positive mood among older adults in daily life.
However, there are potential gender differences: Older men are less likely than women to provide emotional support to friends, and if they do, they may experience a lower positive mood on days they provide emotional support—a pattern not observed in women.
New University of Michigan research, supported by the National Institute on Aging, sheds fresh light on the emotional impact of supporting close friends in later life. It also reveals key gender differences that could inform tailored approaches to promoting well-being among America's aging population.
Women's friendships tend to be rooted in emotional intimacy and conversation, while men's friendships are often more activity-based.
"Offering emotional support to friends may be linked to a lower positive mood for older men, possibly due to expressing empathy or discussing emotions," said Crystal Ng of U-M's Survey Research Center. "It may conflict with masculine role expectations, leading to discomfort or emotional strain."
For Ng, friendships have unique benefits for both genders that family can't replace.
"Since friends are chosen and usually bring joy, they can be especially important for emotional well-being in older age, particularly for those who are unmarried, widowed, divorced, single or childless," she said.
Published in Research on Aging, the study is among the first to examine, in day-to-day settings, how providing help to close friends shapes daily mood in older adults, and how these links vary for men and women. Researchers interviewed 180 older adults in the Greater Austin area in Texas (average age 74), who reported on their support exchanges and mood every 3 hours over 5-6 days.
Emotional support topped the list of ways older people help their friends, the study found, followed by advice and practical assistance.
"People may have a stereotype that in old age, older adults usually only receive support as they are frail, but many older adults are still providing support," Ng said. "I wanted to study support for friends, as it is not obligatory like support for spouse, adult children or other family members, but rather voluntary and an active form of aging and social engagement."
Purpose linked to well-being
The findings highlight new opportunities to boost well-being and connection in older adulthood, Ng says. Acts of practical support—helping with errands, tasks or transportation—don't just get things done; they may reflect active, outward engagement and often involve physical or cognitive effort, which can reinforce older adults' sense of purpose and usefulness.
For older men, in particular, promoting these active, hands-on ways to help could prove especially valuable in the long run.
"However, programs should explore alternative avenues for social engagement beyond emotional support," Ng said. "Or facilitate meaning-making in emotional support exchanges to better promote older men's emotional well-being, as emotional help—at least to close friends—may incur daily emotional costs."
Beyond daily social support to friends, researchers plan to examine friendship-based giving and what motivates friends to provide caregiving in future research.
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